The Ashes in the Snow
by darklight1735
Summary: Natsu kneeled down, making himself eye level with the small raven. The child's eyes widened at him and he moved to hide behind his father. Gray rested a hand on the slender shoulder, reassuring him. The dragon slayer smiled at the youth, he could see both of them reflected in those bright orbs. "It' nice to finally meet you." NatsuxGray
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer, all rights go to their respective owners.**

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A fierce morning sun shone down on the harsh earth. It glared just over the horizon, at the right angle that blinded anyone unfortunate enough to be charged with looking in that direction. Chirping of birds was yet to be heard at this morning hour, most living creatures choosing this time for a few last moments of dozing.

A pallid raven slipped into the day, soundlessly slithering around a door and into the open world. The door clicked back into frame behind him, his hands still on the knob with white knuckles. He leaned his back against the smooth wood, dropping his head back. Sunlight reached the contours of his exposed neck. His vivid eyes were closed and his chest rose and fell steadily. His shoulders tensed on a deep breath. He could fell his legs threatening to give in and his head spun. His back slid down the door, his feet scraping across gravel as he collapsed in place. He rested his head on his knee trying to regain his shredded composure. He could feel his face flush in shame and humiliation as he tried to force out thoughts of what he'd done.

He felt disgusting.

Moments passed and he was left feeling void of reason. He pushed himself up, hearing the gravel underfoot once more. More birds had arisen to the day now, but not enough to wake the sleeping dragon from its den. The raven kept his head down as he sauntered away, least he have to bare the weight of facing the day.

…

"Near noon and the guild is still empty,"

Lucy sighed as she dropped her cheek into her hand. Her chocolate eyes roamed over the knocked over tables and scattered chairs thrown about the guild. The potent smell of alcohol wafted through the air, making her scrunch her nose in distaste.

"The guild was always filled with heavy drinkers."

The celestial mage slid her eyes over to the white haired barmaid. Even following senseless merriment long into the night the model was still present bright and early the next day. She stood behind the well-used bar, cleaning out a mug with a ratty cloth that had seen better days.

"Heavy drinkers or not I still have rent to pay." The blonde groaned and dropped her head in her arms. "That loudmouth always complains when I go on missions without him but hasn't even bothered to show up yet!"

Mira chuckled at the female mage before turning her attention back to a set of glasses. Her eyes flickered up briefly from a smudge on the surface to the heavy set of double doors in the front before dropping back down. There was a clanking of metal and the doors closed.

A statuesque scarlet glided into the room. Lucy perked up at seeing one of her team members enter. The blonde gave a cheery wave as an indicator for the knight to head over. Erza stood among the other females, surveying the scene.

"Where are Natsu and Gray?"

"They haven't shown up yet." Lucy replied nonchalantly. She wasn't in the mood to protect those two from Titania anymore. "At this rate we'll never get the job done."

Erza slid into the bench across from the celestial mage. The scarlet let her eyes narrow on the guild door. Clear impatience was etched on her fine features as she waited for it to swing open. "If those two are late for a last minute fight I'll have their hides."

"I think those two were going at it last night." The scarlet and blonde turned their head towards the barmaid. Mira was thoughtfully tapping her finger against her lips. "I think it started with Gray deciding to have a drinking rematch with Cana after all this time…then Natsu joined to try to beat him. Of course Cana won hands down and those two ended up…well let's just say tipsy was and understatement. Then they stumbled off somewhere, I think for a fist fight." Blank stares met the white haired she-devil as she finished her story. Lucy's eyebrow twitched when she wondered why the barmaid didn't tell her earlier. Mira gave a lighthearted smile. "But I'm sure they were just acting like friends the whole night."

Erza let her fist slam on the table. Lucy shivered as she heard a low growl come from the knight. It was one thing to keep Erza waiting; it was another to disregard her orders. The blonde felt a dash of pity for the two males and the beginnings of a wish that she would have picked a different job that didn't require them to leave so early.

Lucy breathed out a sigh of relief when she caught a blob of pink outside the front windows. By the time the dragon slayer made his entrance the blonde was already waving, her peppiness countering the fuming knight. The fire mage grinned back, revealing a row of pointy teeth. The holder mage could see hints of dark circles under his eyes (the most distinct sign she'd ever seen of a hangover on him). His hair was still messy from bed but otherwise he was just as cheerful.

Erza disregarded all of this. The fire mage stopped in his tracks at seeing the redhead glaring daggers at him, realization slowly dawning on his face. If dragons could be skinned, Natsu would be a trophy right now.

"You're late."

Those two words were enough for the tanned mage to slip into a pale form. The guild was silent minus the sound of a rag squeaking against glass as the two stared at each other. Finally the scarlet turned away from him, turning back to her regular composure. Natsu breathed in relief and relaxed. Lucy scooted over on the bench, letting Natsu slide in next to her.

"You can spend a day polishing my armor for this stunt."

Natsu slammed his forehead against the table. There was never such a thing as easy punishment with Erza.

"One down, one to go," Lucy muttered. She casually drummed her fingers against the wooden surface of the table. She wasn't one for being prompt but even the damn cat wasn't here yet (she couldn't picture why he wasn't with the dragon slayer to begin with). Not to mention the job description included more than they thought there originally was. This was the last time she'll let Natsu accept a job without first reading the description. One whole week of working, at least two of those days would be on train roundtrip, some payback towards the fire mage. "Where the heck is he?"

Natsu stiffened beside her, still keeping his head down where his face couldn't be seen. The action didn't go unnoticed by the knight. Erza's warm eyes became tightened into slits directed at the fire mage. "Natsu, if you knocked him out in a fight…"

The dragon slayer remained silent. The blonde's eyes widened at the thought. "You didn't, did you? Geez, and you just left him there? Where the hell is-"

"I don't know where he is!"

Lucy was more than taken aback. Natsu's voice was more than a sudden yell, unexpected didn't begin to cover it. The fire in his usually playful eyes had turned onto the verge of menacing. The scarlet slammed her hands on the table and poised in an offensive stance. Mira stopped her cleaning to bluntly stare at him. It wasn't often they'd seen the dragon layer turn the tables without warning, and never on them.

Natsu slowly moved back from them, his intimidating aura didn't leave though. There pairs of eyes watched him as he stood up and moved away, heading towards the door. Lucy couldn't help note that the dark around his eyes made him look more tired than before.

"I'm going to look for Happy."

The three female mages continued watching his turned back as he left.

…

Gray ran his fingers through his wet hair. Water droplets fell from the ends of the strands and splashed onto his cheeks, trailing down to his neck. Occasionally his fingers would get tangled and he'd have to pull at the knots for a while. He stared at his reflection in the foggy bathroom mirror. His dark eyes didn't hold any energy in them, instead they showed off a dullness he never really knew he had. His mouth was a small line, neither smile nor frown. Just void of emotion.

He felt sluggish and unresponsive and he couldn't snap out of it fast enough. Most of the previous night was a fast blur streaked across his mind. Not enough of it though. His throat was raw from throwing up all morning from the alcohol and his skin had become red under him practically tearing it off in efforts to get rid of miscellaneous smells.

He numbly made his way to his closet and pulled on the first thing he saw. He buttoned up his shirt to his neck. He didn't feel like having his clothes fly from his body anymore. He pulled the rest of his attire on, letting his white trench coat hang off of his body like a curtain. He ignored his growling stomach as he passed by his kitchen; he didn't think he could handle anything right now.

He stepped out into the noon sun. A bell went off in the back of his head as he realized the time. He didn't feel the need to hurry, though, he didn't care to. He could feel the heat of spring teetering on the edge of summer. The sun began drying his dark hair, evaporating the cold drops into nothingness.

He really hated the heat.

…

Natsu stared down at the blue feline contently munching on the recently caught fish. Happy's sharp incisors sliced into the scales before forming mouthfuls into smiles between bites. The dragon slayer huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. Even following all his attempts to cool his emotions early were flops. It seems every being in the damn world was happy today except for him.

The blonde and scarlet hadn't moved from the spot he'd left them at. They had large smiles on their faces and high-pitched laughs often rung from their direction. More guild members had filed in since this morning. Most were milling about; others were in groups chatting aimlessly. His eyes narrowed when another member walked in. Their raven hair spiked down and held a shine to it. Pale skin looked whiter than normal. They uncharacteristically kept their head down. Natsu was tempted to rolls his eyes at that. Like he wouldn't notice when _he_ got here.

"It's about damn time you've showed up."

Gray glanced at him out of the corner of his navy eyes then acted like the pinkette never spoke. Natsu felt his mouth twitch in irritation and he subconsciously tightened his fist. The ice mage didn't respond, he just moved over to where to rest of their team was. Natsu growled deep in his throat, so this was how the ice mage wanted to play it.

Erza glanced over at the raven. "Train leaves in twenty minutes."

Gray muttered an apology under his breath for being late and didn't say more. Lucy looked up at him. It wasn't every day the ice mage was this reticent. She was expecting clever word play to get out of what the knight had in store for him.

The two females pushed themselves up, brushing their skirts down as they stood. They grazed past the two males, annoyance still on their visages. Natsu glared at the raven following after them, not so much as sparing a flicker of acknowledgment towards him. The pinkette flipped the end of his scarf around his neck, the rim of the fabric worked to hide the livid expression spreading across his face. The blue Exceed flew after the rest of the group. The feline folded his wings and came to a landing on Gray's shoulders. The raven lifted a hand and ruffled the soft fur affectionately. Natsu's coal eyes sharpened into choleric orbs. Tender gestures always came from the ice mage naturally like that and were given to everyone, everyone but him.

He really hated that cold personality.

* * *

**So this is the beginnings of a brand new storyline, because obviously I wasn't slow enough on updating that adding another work to update just seemed like a swell idea. Obviously from the description one of the subject matters is going to be more than a little weird but I figured why not. Plus, who doesn't love having a cute family. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer, all rights belong to their respective owners.**

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Mira skillful swept each ceramic piece clean with a few key strokes. A ragged cloth squeaked across the dirty surfaces, leaving a gleam in its path. Crumbs fell to the floor, becoming her last nightly task of having to sweep. The platters passed under her scrutinizing eyes one last time before being stacked in a pile. The dishes clinked together, giving off a high-pitched clank to ring throughout the guildhall. Constant laughing and jovial shouts barely took note of the white haired barmaid behind the counter. The blonde celestial mage was the sole exception. She had her chin resting on her folded arms across the bar, tiredly watching the transformation mage. Her legs dangled off the floor, giving her sore calves a rest. Every now and again the two made harmless chat about nothing in particular, just as something to pass the time.

"How's Loke?"

The key mage sighed at the question. "Annoyed with me, he keeps complaining I shouldn't have waited to call him for so long." The bartender raised one slim eyebrow. It was common for the blonde to be vexed with the lion spirit, not the other way around. "I wanted to save him for the end of the mission. Only I never would have guessed it would have taken so long."

Mira nodded at the explanation. "You guys were gone for two, three weeks?"

"Two and a half," Lucy groaned. "It would have gone a lot faster had we not found out a second part to it when we got there. Not to mention those two idiots wouldn't as so much as look at each other. They were no help at all."

Mira reached for another unclean platter. "Do you find it odd they haven't made up yet?"

"Natsu and Gray? They fight all the time, it's nothing new."

"Yes, but…" The white haired waitress tapped the dish's surface in thought. "They usually just bicker. I can't think of time when they've gone this long giving the other the silent treatment."

"I guess it is a little odd." Lucy muttered. "I don't even know what they're mad about." The blonde raised her head to glance across the room. Her eyes fell on tan skin. The dragon slayer stood next to Gajeel, no doubt itching for another fight. Lucy squinted as she watched to fire mage's face. He had looked more than irate these past weeks, and there always seemed to be a hint of something else she couldn't make out.

Mira followed her gaze before sighing herself. She shifted her gaze away from the pinkette to the other end of the bar. A raven figure sat as far away as he could from the other guild members. The wall next to him was casting a shadow, almost hiding the ice mage. The bartend briefly turned back to Lucy, giving her a, _I'll go talk to him_ look.

The model slowly walked over, not wanting to disturb the raven too suddenly. Gray had his head down, placed between his arms and was still enough that the barmaid might have thought he was sleeping. Mira's bright eyes widened as she got closer. She could make out a thin layer of sweat coating his body and his shoulders were shaking slightly. Mira deftly placed a hand on him, calling out softly.

Gray heavily lifted his head. His body swayed in his seat had his eyes took a moment to focus. The ice mage took in a shaky breath before forcing a smile. "Hey Mira,"

"Gray?" Mira cupped the pale face in her hands. She could feel a heat coming from his skin she didn't know an ice mage was capable of producing. Concern laced through her eyes. "Are you alright? Should I go get Wendy?"

The raven roughly pulled his head away, shaking it profusely. "No, I'm fine. I think I just picked something up during the job."

"Are you sure?" Mira laid her hand across the mage's fore head. "You look more than drained. I'm sure Wendy could help."

"I'm fine, really," The raven smiled again, not quite reaching his eyes. "I'm just nauseous is all."

Mira bit her lip. "If you're positive…can't I get you anything?"

"Water," Mira nodded once before hurrying off. The raven hung his head. He could feel his temperature flaring and his stomach made him want to double over. A cool glass was placed in front of him which he quickly gulped down in a matter of seconds. Mira stood by, waiting to see any change. "Thanks,"

The waitress quickly grabbed his arm when he tried to stand. "Sit for a while longer,"

The raven shrugged of the touch. "I'm _fine_; I think I just need to call it a night." The ice mage took more than a few wobbly steps towards the door. He heard Mira call after him to get plenty of rest. He couldn't really hear her though, everything sounded loud and incomprehensible.

…

Onyx eyes stared after the ice mage as the door swung behind him. Natsu's lip twitched up in triumph as he watched his rival stumble over his own feet. He hoped he fell a few times on his way home. He couldn't think of anything better than that bastard getting what he deserved. Natsu turned back to the dragon slayer next to him. He felt the energy he'd been holding in from these past days boiling inside him and he wanted to let it out.

He slammed his fist into Gajeel's nose.

…

Gray rolled over on his bed. He kept kicking his covers off only to pull them back on again. His navy eyes were fastened shut against the morning sun streaming through his window. He'd lost count of what day he was on of being stuck at home. Lucy and Erza took turns dropping by to check on him, not that much progress had been made. They had brought Wendy the first day. The sky dragon had used troia and for a few hours he had felt fine. Sometime later in the day he couldn't manage standing right. The young healer couldn't piece together what was wrong and he wasn't willing to trudge to Porlyusica's to find out (the old hag didn't make a habit of coming to those who weren't dying).

The ice mage had his arms wrapped around his stomach. The mornings were the worse. He couldn't move from the cramps that tore at his stomach. He was sluggishly getting used to the sick feeling that had been raging on, not that he was unaffected.

The raven threw his legs over the side of his bed and forced himself to his feet. He might be sick but cabin fever was setting in and he'll be damned if he didn't make it to the guild this week. His knees shook under him from lack of use but he compelled his legs to move despite that.

He grabbed at a pile of clothes that had been thrown about before moving towards the rest of the house. The raven shrugged the fabric on. Even if he found clothing restricting he didn't want to start off the week with his bad tendency.

The ice mage stepped out his front door. Intense sun rained down on him, practically making him go blind. He steadied himself against the doorframe. He was caught between a pained smile and a wince at how acquainted he felt with the situation.

He glanced down the trial leading from his house to a dirt road. He sighed before moving towards it. His boots rubbed across grit, creating a feverish melody to his ears. A not so symphonic harmony took over as he got closer to town. Lively babble filled the air as the busy inhabitants of Magnolia bustled by. Shouts of street vendors mingled with the squealing of girls. The ice mage carefully sidestepped when a group of schoolchildren passed underfoot. He shook his head at them, wondering why they could never look where they were going.

The ice mage glanced down the street from where he stood. From here he could just make out the contour of the metal gates surrounding a stone structure he had learned to call home. Without a second thought the raven turned away and walked towards the other end of the avenue.

The ice mage wasn't proud of acting immature. Something he prided himself on was his ability to act like an adult when that pink haired _moron_ couldn't. Yet his feet subconsciously led him to the other side of town, planting him squarely in front of a small parlor. His lips curled upward into a smile when the smell of his favorite ice cream shoppe reached him. He pushed open the glass door, causing a little bell to chime.

He promptly placed his order. He sat down at a small table, happily lapping at a sweet delight. The frozen treat settled in his stomach, oddly calming his bilious feeling. He couldn't help smile at himself at the coldness.

_Here's something that idiot wouldn't do with me._

Gray didn't even bother to kick himself at the superficial thought. He didn't care enough to. He didn't favor thinking of anything that made his head hurt, and it's not like he'd stacked up a long list of complaints already. He made a mental note upon the others to cut back on how much he drank sometimes (that was a note he'd made a few times and he swore for now on he'll abide by it).

"Well look who finally arrived."

The ice mage glanced up at that frisky tone. He spotted two girls off to the side conversing together. He couldn't help roll his eyes. Never in his years did he figure out why girls were always so loud. He just knew to deal with the ones at the guild and that was it, though at times he even found just those few to be impossible.

He could see the newly arrived woman give an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry I couldn't meet this week. I haven't been feeling well lately."

_So there is something going around_. The raven tried to refocus on his dessert. A certain scarlet had made sure to teach him lessons on manners and eavesdropping was definitely on a long list of what wasn't acceptable. Unfortunately females proved to be more than a little noisy.

"Aw, that's too bad. Were you stuck with the flu?"

"Hmm," The second girl's tone turned enigmatic. "Let's just say I've been a little queasy lately."

The first woman squealed higher than he thought Lucy ever could. "You mean?" The other girl gave a small nod and the first seized her into a loving hug. "Congratulations!"

Gray blinked at the sudden outburst before his mind clicked together. He rolled his eyes once more and thanked his lucky stars he was a guy. He'd rather be stuck at home dealing with a foreign disease than be a human slug for most of the year.

He tossed the rest of his sugary treat away (his own stomach was becoming bothered once more). He forced himself to walk back to the guild, there might not even be a hothead waiting for him there. If he was real lucky maybe he could even get Wendy to try to cure him again.

…

Natsu smirked to himself when the raven at long last showed up. The ice mage was worse for wear and was an unhealthy pale even for him. A tug in the back of the dragon slayer's mind tore at the satisfaction he was trying to gain at the other's expense. He brushed it off; telling himself the bastard deserved this.

He dully watched Gray travel over to a one of the smallest members of the guild. He grinned even wider. It felt good to see his lifelong rival crawling to the help of a little girl.

_You're such a damn hypocrite._

Natsu winced at the voice in his head. Lately it seems it won't shut up. It was right, though, he couldn't count the number of times he'd needed a healer. Hell, it even made him feel like shit for enjoying that his nakama was suffering. He hated his conscious sometimes.

The fire mage got to his feet. He was sick himself of being quiet for so long, the appeal of a good fistfight with his competitor seemed like the best cure. Plus, he held a small hope that maybe if the two of them just fought it out they wouldn't have to talk about it. He knew there were times he could get heated in the emotional sense but he'd still do anything to avoid a confrontation.

Gray sighed a breath of relief as an azure hue surrounding the youngest dragon slayer's hands was placed upon him. He murmured something about the bluenette being a lifesaver. The fire mage could see the raven visibly relax and a look of tranquility swept over his light face.

"Thanks Wendy, I don't know what I'll do without you."

The raven flinched as a sweltering heat engulfed him. The blue haired girl flinched back, feeling the fresh inferno roaring to life. Heads turned towards an indignant fire mage. Natsu's eyes were newly formed smoldering masses in their sockets that hadn't been seen before. A handful of guild members winced away, afraid at the sudden personality change.

Gray kept his mouth a firm line. The two males stared the other down. Nervous eyes of the rest in the room shifted between the two. The raven forced his usual cool not to break. Natsu stayed deadly still, waiting for his turn to be acknowledged. A lifetime must have passed between them. A flicker of venom washed over the dragon slayer's eyes and the ice mage braced himself for one of their infamous brawls.

The dragon slayer remained reserved as he turned his back to the raven and headed towards the door. Gray thought he saw the other hesitate at the exit before the other disappeared from view. A nervous cough from inside the room snapped everyone out of their silence, driving them back to their aimless conversations. The raven stared after the entrance for a time, trying to piece everything together.

* * *

**Guys, the anime comes back in less than two weeks!**

**The anticipation is killing me (not as bad as waiting to learn who Silver is, but still pretty bad). **

**Thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer, all rights belong to their respective owners.**

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Pale fingers drummed against the request board. The owner's dark eyes roamed over the faded print scrawled across the pages, lingering on the reward amount longer than the actual job. His hand sluggishly hovered over the page. He yanked the corner off the cork surface, ripping part of the sheet. The blonde next to him leaned over his shoulder, nodding after reading the flyer. The pallid man moved towards the rest of their so-called team. He placed the page in front of the guild's resident knight. Erza lowered the forkful of strawberry cake that was already halfway to her mouth. She turned her attention to the request.

"Tomorrow morning, be at the train station ready to go."

Lucy nodded enthusiastically before heading out the door to pack. Gray sat down on the bench across from the scarlet, effectively procrastinating. The pinkette that had been sitting beside the requip mage snatched the job flyer to look over. The dragon slayer still seemed more than grumpy these past few days, but other than that things had calmed down (though they were still not on speaking terms, much to their guild mates exasperation).

Erza jovially went back to munching her pastry. Gray rested his head on his arms, trying to ignore the growling in his stomach that was telling him to eat (even if he wasn't hungry), though most days he found himself overeating at lunch to compensate for him throwing up in the mornings. (The girls had dragged him to Porlyusica's a few days ago, but she couldn't conclude what was wrong. She did suggest his balance was off, that being why Wendy could ease him with troia.)

Natsu threw the request back on the table in front of the raven. Gray looked down at the now slightly crumpled piece of paper and glanced back at the pinkette. Natsu had a look of distaste written across his face. "What? Not up for a challenge, Ice Block?"

The ice mage opened his mouth to retort but was cut off by the knight beforehand. "We already agreed to it." The dragon slayer 'tsked' but otherwise didn't respond. "I'd actually like to discuss a plan of action for this one as well. After the past few jobs going haywire on you two and your inabilities to cooperate I think it's best we agree on what we'll be doing."

Natsu muttered something under his breath but gave a not-so-innocent smile when Erza glanced at him. "If it means _so _much to you I guess I'll put up with Ice Block for a little longer…not now though." The fire mage pushed himself up from the bench. He stretched his arms over his head as he did so. Gray rolled his eyes at the emphasis Natsu put on his flexing muscles.

Erza swallowed another blob of cake. "Later is fine, should we meet at your place?"

Gray snorted. "That place has probably been condemned."

Natsu ignored him and gazed at Erza dumbfounded. "Why the hell would we do that? Why not just meet here like usual."

Titania scolded him. "You know perfectly well that this is Mira's one night off during the month. We will _not_ be the ones who ruin that for her."

Natsu groaned but didn't argue. Gray watched him walk towards the door before turning his attention back to his less galling teammate. "Do want me to stop by Lucy's and tell her?"

The knight shook her head. "I'm heading past her apartment anyway. You'll have to forgive me if I'm late tonight."

Gray raised an eyebrow at brilliant haired mage. It wasn't often she wasn't punctual, especially regarding work. "How is he?"

Erza nearly gagged on her cake. "Who? Him? I have no idea what you're talking about."

The ice mage chuckled at her. "Sure, have fun tonight…just, maybe not _too_ much fun." Erza's cheeks became replicas of her hair color. Incoherent stuttering tumbled from her mouth but kept her from chastising him. Gray got to his feet, his mouth still twitched in a smile as he moved away from his friend. He waved at her from the door, earning a threatening promise on the way out.

…

The ice mage grabbed his duffel bag from where he had tossed it after his last mission. He wrinkled his nose in distaste at the musty smell of clothes he hadn't bothered to wash. He dumped out the contents of the bag, covering his floor with the foul scent of sweat and grime. The raven slung the strap over his shoulder and trudged to his room. He pulled open his dresser drawers. He ran his fingers over the textiles, pulling at shirts he thought he might be able to keep on.

Gray lifted a piece of cloth up only to drop it when his hand went to cover his mouth. He mentally cursed when he could feel himself gagging and acid burned the back of his throat. He stumbled to the bathroom, dispelling the clumps of food that had been in his stomach. His head pulsed and his eyes watered, spilling over at the pain coming from his middle. He wiped his eye with the back of his hand, coughing up the last bits of lunch in his sink.

_I've got to figure out what the hell's wrong with me…_

The raven forced his now wobbly knees to straighten out. His reflection in the mirror had turned red and puffy from his latest episode. He frowned at seeing that he had lost his shirt sometime upon coming home. The image in the mirror had changed physically in other ways as well. His abdomen had lost muscle. The set of abs he had earned over yearns of pressing himself to achieve had disappeared, leaving a soft stomach in its place. He chewed his lip. He needed to start working out again, just in a few weeks he'd gone from toned to average strength.

The ice mage turned the faucet on, letting the cold water drip into his cupped hand beneath. He swished the liquid around his foul cavern and spat. Gray brushed the bangs away from his face. He pushed himself away from his bathroom counter and walked towards his kitchen. First things first, he'd have to force more protein into his body. That was easier said than done, lately it seemed like he wasn't eating the same, no matter how hungry he constantly felt.

…

Happy rummaged through the kitchen cabinets. His small paws closed around the handle of a frying pan and his wings proceeded to carry him to the stovetop. Natsu watched his feline companion flutter around their scullery, grabbing this and that before he had a pile of food that needed to be cooked. The pinkette reached over to ignite the stove when he heard the Exceed cry out from near the cooler.

"Natsuuuuu, you forgot to get the fish."

"Huh?" The dragon slayer sauntered over, blinking at the empty ice chest. "Damn…I knew I was forgetting something earlier."

The blue feline pouted at him. "Do you want to go fishing now? There might be a few fish still biting."

Natsu turned to check the time then shook his head. "The girls will be here pretty soon…I think. How about you go get dinner and I'll cook everything."

Happy contemplated the deal for a moment before going to search for his fishing pole Natsu had given him years ago. "Okay then, it might take me a little longer though, since I'm the only one fishing."

The dragon slayer waved at him as the cat flew out the door. He replaced some of the ingredients back to keep them cold while his partner was away. He bluntly stared at the frying pan before deciding to leave it. (Happy had been insisting lately that a lightly sautéed fish was better than his hand cooked, smoldering black mass he always made of the fish. He couldn't imagine why.)

…

Gray adjusted the collar of his jacket, pulling it away so he didn't feel like he was suffering from anoxia. Maybe it was just the nerves that made him feel like that. He'd come a little later in hopes that Erza had already arrived, but a feeling in the pit of his stomach told him otherwise. Not to mention he felt _hot_. All he wanted was to lie down in a vat of ice and soak up the coldness. He was dedicated to keeping all his clothes on tonight, though. He didn't want that pink headed moron using his stripping habit as a way to accuse him of being the one the provoked everything.

The raven nearly threw up again when Natsu's cramped house came into view. Vines covered the exterior, yet to be cut down from their seven years departure. Light came out from windows, leaving square patches of illumination outside the building. The ice mage could see a pink blur inside moving about. The ice mage swallowed when he couldn't see anyone else. He pushed his pride to the foreground to cover up his obvious nerves. He stomped up to the front door, not even bothering to knock as he swung the heavy wooden entrance wide open, making it slam into a wall.

Natsu glanced up and glared at the sudden intrusion. "I see manners are something else you lack."

Gray glowered right back. "That's something we have in common." The dragon slayer snarled but went back to what he was doing. The raven watched him pick up a sharp blade and move over to a cutting board. The ice mage stifled his laughter as he watched the human furnace carefully slice mushrooms. "I didn't think you knew how to cook, Flame Brain."

Natsu gritted his teeth. "For your information this is for Happy. I promised him I'll cook tonight, and unlike you, _I keep my promises_."

The ice mage tightened his fist. "Where the hell are the girls? If I have to listen to your shit one more minute I'm going to puke." The pinkette growled but didn't add on. Gray looked around, he couldn't believe even the cat wasn't here to keep the peace. "If no one is bothering to show up then I'm leaving." The raven turned on his heel. His pale hand was around the doorknob when he heard something that made his blood boil.

"It wouldn't be the first time you ran away."

The ice mage had a handful of Natsu's vest within a second. The dragon slayer glared down at him, a flame flickering in his eyes. It was a requited feeling. Everything the two had been bottling up was coming to face.

"Don't you _dare_ act like I'm the one at fault."

A rumble came from deep down the fire mage's throat. In a heartbeat Natsu grabbed Gray's shoulders and pinned him against the closest wall, his arms making a cage. "So it's mine?! Guess what, you're the one who left." Gray shoved the other away and went back to the door. Natsu followed behind him. "Let me refresh your memory. How about last year, when you didn't want to talk about it. Or a few months ago when you pretended nothing happened. Or when I confronted you the very first time and you said you conveniently didn't remember what I was walking about. Oh yes, you're not running away_ at all_."

"Look in a damn mirror already!" Gray turned back again. "Because all I see is someone who doesn't even know when to grow up. I bet you don't even know what it means to be in a relationship. You can't even go a week without being overemotional. You can't even have a serious conversation with anyone; you just pretend everything is a big joke!"

Gray stormed out the door, Natsu right behind him. A hand clamped around the raven's wrist. The ice mage spun and slammed one fist into Natsu's cheek. The dragon slayer's head snapped to the side before he responded with slamming Gray's back into a tree, caging him again. The ice mage smirked at seeing a red mark across Natsu's face, taking delight in knowing a purple bruise would be there in the morning. It felt great, after all this time he needed to vent. He could feel his adrenaline rushing and his blood pumping in beat. A heat he didn't know an ice mage could possess was bubbling in his stomach.

He felt like he was going to be sick.

Natsu stared down at the ice mage who was swaying on his feet. Part of him that was saying to be apprehensive was pushed down. He was beyond angry and for once in his life he didn't want to hit something to calm down. He wanted to scream, and the ice mage was right there. He wanted every frustration he had to spill to surface, and tumble from his mouth waves. Gray flinched and shrunk away at the menace radiating off the fire mage.

Gray forced his knees not to buckle. He could hear Natsu screaming at him but the words were fuzzy in his ears. Colors began to blur together and the dragon slayer was coming in and out of focus. A burning rose in the back of his throat.

"Natsu, I…"

The dragon slayer snorted at him. "What now? Is little Gray not feeling well? Please, I bet the whole acting sick thing was just an act to get sympathy. That's it, isn't it?! Just so I look like the bad guy for picking on someone who's ill. Well guess what, I'm not falling for it."

"Natsu-"

"I bet everything you do is an act, it makes sense that way. You pretend you care one minute then you play make believe and everything before goes down the drain. I'm not that dumb, Gray! You're just too much of a coward to-"

Gray pushed the dragon slayer away with the last of his strength before doubling over. Pale hands clutched his gut as acid scorched his mouth. Natsu's mouth was agape as he stepped back from his rival. Tears were coming to the raven's eyes and his normally pale skin turned flushed.

Gray's head swarmed in pain. He was vaguely aware of someone brushing his hair back and arms wrapping around his to keep him steady. He was slowly lowered to the ground and he slumped against the figure next to him. A gentle hand stroked his hair, soothing him as his body shook from his newest incident. His head was still cloudy when he looked up at who was trying to help him. His forehead creased in confusion at seeing a smudges of pink in his still spinning world.

"Gray?"

Natsu's voice came out barely above a whisper. His eyes were filled with concern as he held the ice mage. The raven stared in shock as the pinkette. Natsu softly repeated his name; this time cupping the raven's cheeks. A calloused thumb brushed away the salty liquid that had come to the raven's eyes. Every small movement the pinkette did was laced with worry for him.

That terrified him.

Gray abruptly pushed the tanned arms away. A hurt express spread across Natsu's face but he ignored it. He stumbled to his feet. He could hear Natsu cry his name behind him but he didn't listen. He was already forcing his feet forward, forcing himself away from the dragon slayer.

…

He didn't stop running when he didn't hear the fire mage following him. He didn't stop when a scarlet and blonde figure passed by and asked what he was doing. He didn't stop until he was halfway to his house and in the thickest part of the woods outside of Magnolia where he collapsed on his knees and screamed.

Tears streamed down his face for the umpteenth time. Spikes of dark hair plastered to his wet cheeks, covering his eyes. The palms of his hands constantly swept across in attempts to stop the waterworks. His shoulders gave a last few shudders then he stopped. His crying gasps turned to unsteady breaths, evening out with each exhale. He focused on his breathing, hoping that would calm him down.

A twig snapped behind him. Gray didn't bother to turn around, he was too drained. "Natsu, please…" Leaves rustled behind him and he could sense another's presence. "Natsu, I can't, I just can't…please"

What sounded like footsteps came next. Gray turned back around. "Natsu, _please_, I can't do this any-" A void space stared back at him. The raven blinked. "…Natsu?"

A tree branch fell to the ground with a loud crack. Gray snapped his head to the opposite side, looking for the cause. The tree that had previously been in one part had a jagged cut in its side with no clear cause. The raven gripped his hands into fist, causing his knuckles to turn white. Any sign of his breakdown disappeared as he put on his front of being a Fairy Tail wizard. He'll deal with his humiliation later. He was almost thankful if this happened to be scum that was watching him. He needed to release some magic if he wanted to calm down. He placed his hands together in an ice make position, prepping himself for any bandits lurking by.

A dark figure stepped out from behind a tree. Gray narrowed his eyes and a blue glow surrounded his hands. The figure didn't move, they didn't even seem to acknowledge his magic. Gray growled. "Who the hell are you."

The man-he assumed it was a man- didn't respond. Gray placed a little more magic into his hands, letting the glow expand outwards. Dark shadows disappeared and the face came into view. The ice mage felt his eyes widen and he dropped his hands to the side. The man- no, the _thing_- moved closer. The raven shook at how familiar the experience was.

"But…you-" Gray stepped backwards, almost falling and his legs threatened to give out. He felt like he was a kid again, helpless.

"My-my uncle-and…and my da-dad…they _killed_ you."

He was screaming again.

…

Natsu rested his chin in his hand. A pile of dirty dishes were stacked in the sink. Happy was leaning back in a nearby chair, his small paws resting comfortably over his now full stomach. Lucy and Erza had just left, taking all the lively conversation with them. The pinkette sighed and wished they would come back; he really needed to be near people right now. He couldn't stand being alone.

"Oi, Happy."

So-called feline glanced over to him. "Do you want to go to Lucy's? I bet we could beat her home."

Happy chewed his lip in thought. "She does have a comfy bed…" Natsu grinned and went to put his sandals on. "But last time we were there she threw us out the window."

The dragon slayer sighed and sat back down. "So that's a no…"

The fire mage squirmed in the silence. He hated when things were quiet. He could only ever think when things were quiet, and he hated thinking.

"Hey, Happy?"

"Hmm?"

"Why do you still chase after Carla?" A thick silence resumed. Natsu glanced over to the feline, wondering if he had even heard. Natsu sighed and went over to his hammock to sleep for the night, giving up on an answer.

"Why do you still chase after Igneel?" Natsu glanced back into Happy's large orbs. "That's what I think about when I don't succeed…How you taught me to never give up on your loved ones. Kind of like how Lucy went after Loke, or how Erza never gave up on Jellal."

Natsu cast his eyes to the ground. He guessed everyone went through hell sometimes. He shouldn't be so surprised about it. He was just unlucky enough to have to go through hell twice. The dragon slayer lay back on his hammock, careful not to make it dump him on the floor. Happy flew over and curled into a ball at his feet.

"Sometimes I wonder who Gray chases after," Natsu glanced over to the feline. "He doesn't have anyone left outside the guild…and he won't let anyone close. Right?" Happy looked up at the emotionless fire mage. "I feel bad for him. It must be lonely, not willing to let someone in."

"Ye-yeah…"

Natsu sat for a while longer. Happy fell asleep, purring at his feet. The fire mage buried his head in his knees. Maybe Gray just needed to learn how to trust. Not trust he showed with his comrades, but the kind you show with someone you love. He never knew the raven to expressive that way. Or maybe trust had nothing to do with it; maybe he just needed to be patient. He really needed to think about the ice mage…

…

Gray was hyperventilating. His chest ached from loss of breath and from running and his heart seemed on the verge of giving out. The door to his house was frozen shut, sheets of ice were layered over his windows. He had shoved a few pieces of furniture against the door as well.

He was grabbing arms full of clothes out of his closet and dumping them into his duffel bag. He leaned his weight on top of the mound and quickly zipped it up. He pulled his safe out of its hiding place. He stuffed wads of jewels into his coat pocket, already knowing he'll need to funds if he wanted to get away fast.

_How did he find me?!_

Gray tossed a pocket knife he never had need for in another coat pocket. He even forgot he had one until he now, and it was better than a kitchen knife where he couldn't put the blade away. Regardless he had placed one knife into his boot, better safe than sorry.

_I'm the only one left…He shouldn't be able to sense me._

The ice mage swung his packed bag over his shoulder. He adjusted the strap so it wasn't choking him and did a quick survey to make sure he wasn't forgetting anything he might need. Finding nothing he turned from his bedroom to the rest of his house. He braced himself in case there was something waiting for him outside. He placed one hand on his ice to melt it but stopped when he saw his reflection.

_Am I…the only one?_

A voice in the back of his mind nagged at him. He paled as his thoughts clicked into a place. He shook his head, trying to get the asinine idea out of his head. "That's ridiculous…it can't even happen." The raven subconsciously placed a hand over his abdomen. Gray swallowed and buttoned his coat up; liking the knowledge he had an extra layer to protect his front.

Taking a deep breath he melted his ice and slipped outside. He kept his fist against his palm while he ran, not willing to take any chances. His gaze was focused on the lights in the distance that made up Magnolia. Dark shapes slowly became clear, turning into buildings. Midnight strollers and couples yelled at him as he pushed past, not bothering to slow down. He ignored his instinct to return to the guild, where the people he cared about were.

_You can't love them anymore._

Gray almost breathed a sigh of relief when the train station came into view. He pulled a hand full of crumpled jewels out of his pocket and slammed it on the counter, startling the ticket seller.

"Next train out, please."

…

Gray was the only one sitting in the train compartment. The train whistle was giving a final call even if the station was empty. The ice mage fingered the necklace that hung around his neck, occupying his hands to keep him from doing anything stupid. The ice mage pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. He loosened his hold a bit when he felt pressure on his stomach.

"I hope I'm going insane…"


End file.
